Oh Elliot. I don't know where to start, but today I just can't stop my heart from welling up with emotion. Tears fill my eyes every time I even start to think about where we were 2 years ago. It is Valentines day, you weren't here yet... but you were coming... soon. I was anxious to meet you, yet somehow calm about it all. Your birth was much like you are now. Kind of laid back, insanely intense at the same time. You and I were a team. You were a bit lazy, a bit fierce, a bit chill, a bit wild. You still are. You are the youngest "old" man I know. You kick back, feet up. Chuckle like a 70 year old man who knows the secrets of the universe. You laugh at old hockey cards, as if you know that mullets from the 80's actually are hilarious. You are cool. A bit shy. You are a bit obsessive, about hockey... trains. You know your ABC's, will sit for ages with a giant pile of books and are the best snuggler around. You love your sister and other kids. You have a curious little spirit, but also a laid back energy about you that make people want to know what you're up to. You are strong, cautious, loving and fiercely determined. You are particular with putting things back in their place, after you play hockey for hours will stack your sticks up nicely on top of the nets and put the balls and pucks back in their place. You've got things figured out.
Last week was not our finest around here. You had the bad tummy bug (it was pretty unkind) but I kept thinking that even in changing more diapers and situations than I knew possible... that I was so lucky. Lucky to be able to wash you in warm clean water. Care for you while you weren't well. I had amazing grandparents whisking your sister away to help me focus on you getting better (ok and keep her away from the bad bug) and you have the best dad who was keeping it all together with his calm and loving ways and presence. I felt lucky to have a warm, safe house with running water. I can't imagine what it must be like for mothers with sick babies.... and nowhere safe and clean for them to care for them. I am blessed. In our darkest moments, I feel the light. I know there is always something to be grateful for. Always. I am thankful you are feeling better, that in itself is a gift. You are such a beautiful soul Elliot Patrick, and I'm forever changed and grateful that you chose me to carry you in my belly, grow you.... and bring you into this world. You chose us and we're so glad you're here. 2 years goes by in the blink of an eye. You are precious.
Happy Birthday my sweet, tough, wild boy.
You have my heart. ox Love your mom.
(photos... first a flashback to growing you... then, you now. xo)
