2017: how i choose to see us.

On a whim tonight, I decided to compile a sort of "Best of 2017" personal post.  It became a very lengthy task and although I'm forgetting and omitting so much, I had a hard time eliminating any from this post, so its a bit long.  However if you're interested, this is us. ox

{also I feel the need to let you know that of course I occasionally freak out at my kids, and fail miserably in many moments of my life.  I am the worst at organizing my house, there is always a pile of laundry somewhere and my pile of unread books makes me want to hide in a cave and read for a week.  However, one of the many reasons I find myself picking up my camera again and again, especially with my family is it makes me SO happy.  It brings me endless joy looking through the photos of our lives over the years.  It is my highlight reel.  The way I see us.  Not necessarily how we always are.}

So perhaps, THIS is how I choose to see us.  

Thanks for stopping by.  xo

{Also if you follow my instagram pages, chances are... most of these photos are old news!  I post a selection of my personal and professional images ON INSTAGRAM HERE AND HERE

On Choosing Happiness

Dear Maisie, 

I love to watch you.  You make joy look so easy.  Ever since you were a baby, you just oozed joy.  Singing yourself to sleep as a baby, singing always, waving your arms around dancing wildly, prancing around the house the world on your tip toes, laughing with your whole body.  You constantly make me remember what it is to really be alive.  Adults tend to forget.  I forget.  I get focused on something that doesn't matter, and forget to whirl around wildly.  You remind me of this joy and I remind you on how to choose it when its not so easy to see.  When you get grumpy about cleaning something up... we talk about attitude.  How it's your choice to do a job or a chore with a positive attitude or a crappy one.  Who's job is it to make your life amazing, your moments, your time?  Not mine.  Yours.  Your life, your path, your choices.  I am here, to help in any way, guide.  Be the bad guy.  Anything, but your it is your life, and your happiness.  I can give you the most amazing opportunities possible but your attitude is what will make those experiences and your life the most rich.  Already, easily you get it.  You sing your way through school, happily helping in your classes, your teachers notice and comment on your attitude and your empathy and compassion with others.  We talk about it, but nothing makes my momma heart feel more full than to hear those things.  Your foundation will be and is built on love and vulnerability and compassion, understanding and choosing to see the world with an open heart.  You make my heart feel a deep sense of knowing and peace.  I feel you Maisie.  I get you.  We may not always agree, but there will always be this understanding and love.  There will be tough times, hard choices.  But you will make good choices, and if you make not so good choices, we can deal with that too.  We can do hard things together.  I can't do your life for you.  I can't do the hard things for you {although sometimes I really want to}.  But I can stand beside you, hold your hand.  Be there for you.  

Anything is possible my amazing creation.  You are only 7, but wise beyond your years.  Follow your joy, your passions, what makes your soul sing.  

Read all the books, draw, sketch, paint all of the beauty, do all of the creating, sing yourself to sleep, care for your friends your community, the world.  Be you.  Like your dad always says "you just be Maisie".  You just be you. ox

All my love, mom. 

Hummingbird Whisperer

Hummingbird Zen.

A mind at peace, a mind centred and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. ~Wayne Dyer

Our sweet neighbour let us know that she had been feeding the hummingbirds in the area, and that we should come over and get Maisie to try it (Elliot lasted about 2 seconds of "trying to be still")  But Maisie was focused, calm and determined.  We would talk about calming her energy, opening her heart, softening her energy.  Letting the sweet little creatures know she would never harm them.  The first night she waited about 40 minutes before one landed near her.  (BW below).  The next night we tried at our house, we kept Elliot inside (way too bouncy and unpredictable) and she went ahead with her calming and softening practise.  They were all around her and all over her in a matter of moments.  It was truly mesmerizing.  (Second night colour photo below)  We will be making this a regular practice.  She absolutely loves it, it is so peaceful and filled with magic.  Deep gratitude to our sweet neighbour Sue for enlightening us to her special practice. ox

2019: UPDATE New videos and photos added here from this year. 3 years of hummingbird magic. Every year has gotten more intense. I love reflecting on the journey of how this all come to be part of our lives. This year things really got exciting and even more amazing. What joy this brings to our lives. ox

The hummingbird whispering is getting out of hand. Actual hummingbird zen this gal. So! Crazy!!! 
I am so lucky that my previous neighbor Sue was feeding them for years before we moved here in 2016. She showed me her feeders (she had 5 hanging off her deck) and I was instantly hooked and blown away. We started with one feeder and now I have 8 of them. I feed them a mix of sugar and water. When the feeders are the most crazy I am refilling 6-8 feeders twice a day. So Wild! These are migrating rufous hummingbirds that travel from Mexico to Alaska annually and have been coming here for years. I’ve read that they have remarkable memories so they remember feeders/flowers along the way and they are said to also recognize faces as well. Judging by their reaction to Maisie and I, I know they remember her and trust her. Look at them!! We have been feeding them for 3 years here and I have always been amazed by them but tonight... on the eve of this gals 9th birthday they totally blew our minds!!!!

*** update many of you ask what we feed them, and we feed sugar and water. Dissolve 1 cup of sugar to 4 cups of water. NO RED DYE. And clean feeders every few days. As mould grows quickly on the feeders.

The future is female.

If you're anything like me, you crave light.  Crave it streaming in through your windows, the sky, the darkness.  We all need to see something or someone spreading light even when all signs point to gloom.  A rainbow glowing through the clouds after a never ending storm, the sun rising after a long night,  a beautiful sunset after a hard conversation or finding a flash light in a power outage.  All tend to feel like candles burning brightly for hope.  These girls, they do that for me.  Shine on soul sisters and love warriors.  We can always use more light.  

The future is female. xo

Moment Junkie

Here's the thing, I'm a moment junkie.  Have been for a long, long time.  Love being witness to moments, noticing them, seeking them out.  Capturing them, looking at them.  Studying them long after the moment has passed.  Lately, I've been pretty swept up with the in between moments.  The ones that are easy to miss.  So easy to miss.  

Racing around in the morning.  I stop.  I look around, the kids... their sweet little tv coma faces... staring at whatever show they've decided on this morning.  Ignoring me.  That moment.  Getting Maisie her waffle... finding a matching sock for Elliot, for Maisie for me.  Grabbing their clothes, my keys... those moments.  To me lately, these are the most beautiful.  To me, they mean we are all ok.  We are going on with daily life.  The magic in it is actually miraculous to me.  Waking up to Maisie's flashlight too early as she sneaks around in the morning.  "mommy..." Magic.  Going into get my almost 3 year old out of his crib that he is still in and loves.  It doesn't even occur to him that he can easily get out of it.  Magic.  Cleaning up their toys that mean they are happily engaged in playing.  Making a mess, being wild.  Being alive.  So f'ing grateful.  Today, everyday moments are the ones that have my heart.  The regular day moments.  The simple, the messy, the laundry piled up means we got up and wore clothes, and got them dirty.  The big pile of stuff beside my computer means I took Elliot to feed the birds instead.  I'm ok with me.  I'm ok with us.  I'm freaking grateful to be able to drive Maisie to school in the morning, the same way... every day.  It means we're ok, and that is a massive blessing.  

I'm a moment junkie.  The big, the obscure, and the hidden gems.  It makes my heart peaceful to take deep breaths into the mundane.  The every day.  The every day moments are how we spend our lives.  There is no finish line.  Not the weekend, not the birthdays, not Christmas... 

This, is everything. 

and I just felt like sharing that with you. 

xo