Expect nothing of others. Be grateful for everything.

Last night was a rare night. I was actually dressed in clothes that were not purchased from lululemon.

We went to the arena, Maisie and Bryce had a cute little skate together and the plan was to go out for a nice dinner. Some 5 years ago Bryce and I went on one of our first dates and he wined me and dined me at a local restaurant (whos name shall remain unspoken). It was really sweet and last night he suggested we go there with Maisie. Just the three of us. Our life incredibly different than it was 5 years ago, undoubtedly so much better.

It started off great (even though our waitress wasn't the most cheery). We were talking, laughing. Family fun. Then our appy came... pretty greasy. Oh well. We were still fine. Then Maisie spilled an entire glass of water all over the table, herself and my legs and belly. Spare pants in the car for her, no problem. We cleaned it up and were back on track. Then our food came. YIKES. Super disappointing and definitely not how I had hoped it might be. In fact... it was kinda gross (I'll spare you the details).

But there we were, me 8 months pregnant and thought I looked cute, happy to be out in the world with my little family. Him, excited about his meal... then super not excited when it came. Her, cutest ever. Out for dinner (past her bed time even) she kept asking if it was Christmas or Halloween. Both nights that we are actually out of the house past dark. Kept saying the world looked like the "winter woods" (translation, looks enchanted like a scene out of the Tinkerbell movie). She was the happiest ever. Eating her bad french fries and pizza. She was completely happy and totally adorable.

I thought, "ok, I'm irritated. The food wasn't super cheap so we were going to be spending more than usual for our dinner. We were splurging. It was gross. I was feeling the pregnancy hormones on the verge of getting out of control." Then I looked across the table at Maisie. The happiest. The most vibrant little soul. She said with the cutest smile on her face "such a nice family dinner".

I immediately didn't care how much dinner was going to be, or that it wasn't very nice food. We were together. Our biggest problem was that our dinner wasn't the best. I immediately knew, none of it mattered except that we were together and happy. Despite the food (and un-awesome service). The waitress came by "everything ok?" "Great", I replied. Today I came across a quote that I completely understand and think fit perfectly with our big night out...

"How to be happy. Expect nothing of others. Be grateful for everything."

I thought. Yup. This works for me. It really does. In moments that could otherwise be disastrous, there is pretty frequently something to be grateful for.

Last post of 2012...

With an amazing 2012 behind me... I can't even imagine what's in store for 2013. So fortunate to have experienced such a full, exciting and wild ride this past year. Everything from small intimate family weddings in the remote beauty of Nootka Sound, to elaborate firework displays in Drumheller. Every single wedding unique, beautiful, touching and divine. Every single person encountered changed me in their own small and large ways. Leaving imprints on my heart. xo

To my 2012 clients I'm so honoured you chose me. I'm so grateful for your trust, your faith in me and your pure and amazing hearts. To my 2013 clients... what great things lie ahead?! The anticipation is so inspiring! To my perfectly imperfect little family, you are... my heart. I am welling up with tears thinking about everything we've gone through together this past year. So much love. Looking forward to new additions and new adventures. To my family and friends, thank you for your understanding, for 'getting' me and for choosing to see the good in me. I'm a work in progress. I love you all so much. To EVERY single. visitor. passing friend... who clicks on my links, who reads my weird ramblings, who sends love and support and who 'likes' my posts and photos. Thank you for making my heart soar when I see that 200 people 'like' a photo of mine. There are 3,948 people who like my facebook page, so many of you I've never met... will likely never meet, but have deep gratitude for you all the same. Thank you for joining me on this journey. On this ever beautiful, wild and amazing ride we call life. Thank you for being a part of mine.

I have so much to share in 2013. But for tonight, New Years Eve 2012... as we enter into 2013... all I want to share... is love and fireworks. ox

Endless gratitude.

Growing #2

It feels so different this time around. Growing life. Unexplainable really. I just feel like hibernating. Hibernating and growing this baby boy. Feel like any outing is a big deal, feel like I'm not really wanting to share many moments. Feel greedy with my time with Maisie. With our family of 3 plus Frank. Feel like I just want to cuddle up in our big cozy bed with my little family and just snuggle.... for days. Feel like all the time I have... is reserved for people who come with only love. Good intentions. Good hearts. I'm all about good hearts. In fact, I'm more about good hearts than anything else. Negativity sticks to pregnant girls like those little burrs that stick themselves onto your clothes unannounced in the woods. So, as much as possible I seem to be self preserving and avoiding the burrs. Essentially, I'm hiding out at home. It also has a lot to do with being close to my bath tub, which I swear I live in while pregnant. Our hydro bill is through the roof. But, it's just so cozy. Turning down perfectly awesome get togethers... Hibernating. There are times in my life when knowing a deep inner peace comes easily to me... and times when my skin is perhaps just a little too thin and needs a bit more armour to protect the peace. That is apparently, now.

I had the immense pleasure last weekend of photographing one of my favorite families in the snow, on their gorgeous little farm near my house. The snow was falling and I was OVERCOME with the complete magic of it all, and of their shoot... so much so, that I got in my car to leave, and texted my girl Shannon to see if she would photograph our little growing family in the snow. I just couldn't resist. (Around here snow usually lasts about 2 minutes before it turns to slush, so I knew our time was fleeting). Being the extra awesomely spontaneous gal that she is, she agreed. In fact her text read something like "Sure! Why not! Can do anything!!! Happiest elf!!!" Now... to convince Bryce. He walked in the door with Maisie and I gently proposed my idea... he paused and replied "sounds great". (He's a smart guy). We had nothing ready, were all battling colds, threw ourselves together... and ran out the door. Our shoot took about 30 minutes and I can't even stand how much I love them. I feel like they totally reflect how I feel right now. Who we are right now, and the snow, just melts me. (along with the extra bouncy and wild 2.5 year old). I love that if I hadn't done that amazing family photo shoot, I may not have been inspired to do more... I may never have texted Shannon at the exact right time for her to say yes, and we may never have these snowy maternity photos in the woods... as the snow was literally gone and turned to slush the very next day. "It is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen". Truly. It is. I hope your Christmas and holidays were bright, merry, beautiful and full of a little hibernation too. Here we are, full of us. In a moment of snow and peace.

***So grateful for my wild friend Shannon who puts up with me bossing her into different locations and positions and asking her to 'leave more room behind' or "can you crop it more like this"... I must be soooo annoying! Thank you so much for putting up with me!!!! xooxoox I'm truly your photo slave for life! You are patient, kind and totally amazing. We love you. THANK YOU. OUR FAMILY IS SO GRATEFUL!!!****

Caught up in Fall

I'm a Vancouver Island based photographer. I photograph families, children, weddings... but mostly... I photograph love. I see it, I feel it, I photograph it, I love the process.... I love it all. I'm not panicked or stressed about creating the images, because I know that the energy the family creates itself will translate, if I'm open to receive it... catch it.

It's different in my own life. Or, it was different today in my own life.

Last year I caught a moment with Maisie in the fall leaves. It is one of my very favourite photos of her, and this year... I wanted to do something like the same. I got her dressed, saw the beautiful light outside and we set out with camera in hand. She was crabby. I could feel myself getting irritated that the photos I was trying to create weren't what was happening. Frank was barking and eating something strange in the field. Maisie was having a pout about no idea what, and I could feel a level of anxiety rising in my bones. I said something snappy to her and in that moment, I had a flash of insight.

I don't want to be the photo crazy mother forcing my child to be in the photos, and then getting mad at her when they weren't exactly as my painfully inspired self had in mind.... I briefly took a look at myself and realized that I may just be resembling a mother gone photo wild. I put my camera down, and played with my girl. We fished with a stick. She caught 5 salmon leaves and we ate them for lunch. We were sleeping beauty in the leaves kissing each other awake, and we chased the sunshine. Then, feeling more along the lines of a mother I was happy to be, I picked my camera back up and continued playing with my daughter, in the leaves stealing a few photo moments as we played. We were back on track.

I was happier, she was WAY happier and the photos, always tell the tale. I am so grateful, to be able to catch myself in an act that I'm not proud of... and do my best to change it. I'm a work in progress. Oprah quotes Maya Angelou often in saying "When we know better, we do better." It has turned into another unofficial mantra in my life.

So, as the leaves are swirling and fall is falling, I hope you (like me) don't get so caught up in trying to catch the beauty of fall... that you forget to see it's magic.

Keeping it real

It's no secret that I've been lacking in the blogging department. As a wedding/portrait photographer my busiest months are May-September. Perhaps that is why I am only really resurfacing now, in October. It isn't a secret, but I also haven't exactly been making any "public" announcements about the fact that I have spent the past 5 months also growing a baby. Let's be honest ladies who've done this... the first trimester is no joke, and add that to being in my busiest season, shooting weddings.. travelling all over, trying to maintain balance in my family, walk the dog, clean the house, be nice, answer emails, edit and run my business... blogging was sacrificed. And, while we're keeping it real... my house completely fell apart. Like, laundry everywhere, dust for days, piles of "I'll deal with that later" all over. But, whatever... we made it. I've felt more private with this pregnancy for some reason. Just didn't really want to make any kind of 'announcement'. So many reasons, but mainly... I'll just blame it on the hormones. In any case, here I am. 5 months in, and we're all looking forward to a new addition to our family in February. I'm thrilled that my absolute favourite time of year is here, and it's straight into sweaters and hot baths. A perfect way to spend the next 4 months. Thank you to all of you who have checked in, and who have been still visiting my action-less blog. I'm looking forward to more. (many more weddings and shoots to catch up on sharing) oxxo