Wrapping it all up.

2011 ending. Reflections flicker past closing eyelids as the lights go out. Remembering all that has passed. Dogs barking, babies laughing, crying... learning to talk. Rain falling, Adele playing, images from various photo shoots floating by. Glimpses of moments all tied up in a year. Furniture rearranged, wine bottled, wood stove burning, wild pup finally sleeping. Reflections from a full year. New ideas, old ideas, photos printed, canvases hung. Toys organized, baby clothes boxed and tucked away, taking a good look at my self. Examining weakness, looking at strengths, deciding what to do with both. Wrapping up 2011 into a neat little package is nearly impossible. In my own quiet way I am busy coming to peace with mistakes and victories of 2011. I am wrapping it all up... inside first. There will be more to share... later. For now... may you reflect gently on your 2011 and look at creating a more beautiful 2012. Anything is possible. May all your wishes come true.

Studying Maisie

It's like in daily life I forget to study you. I am doing stuff, you are doing stuff (you are always busy... putting diapers on Elmo, laughing at Frank, playing with the kitties, bunnies, reading books, running from room to room... just throwing stuff on the floor and singing) I forget there are other rooms in the house to explore. We venture into our bedroom, and our bed becomes Disneyland. The plain white sheets become a blanket of fun, a new adventure. The window, our door to making up stories and singing songs to the passing cars. Safe and warm... watching the people stream by. Where are they going? "home" you say... or "wuuurk". I say, maybe they are going to get "pizza" and you sing "piiiiiiiza. piiiiizzzzza." maybe they are taking their dog for a walk. "FRAAAANKIE" you yell. It seems so simple. But, it's us. Our days. Our cherished, sweet moments that I study you as you flail all over the bed. Then you have moments where you stop also, you seem to study me as well. Or, just plotting your next big move. Whatever it is, whatever we do, I love studying you. Who will you be, who are you now. How you bring our house to life in the most beautiful way. I hope we always have these simple moments, infused with sweetness.

It's Christmas time Maisie Lu, and I just can't stop studying your funny little spirit and your great big soul. May our Christmases always be safe and warm. So much love, mom.

Painfully Inspired.

When it comes to my business, my craft, my imagery... I am self proclaimed to be painfully inspired. There is no other way to describe it. I obsess over details, ideas and how to bring them to life. Not in a planned out sort of way, but more of a late night bath thoughts sort of way. I've imagined the header of my blog changed to be more grey for a long time now. Which led me to need the perfect west coast fall grey day. Grey days generally equal a bit of rain, which isn't the greatest for photographing artwork. I knew it couldn't be forced but I wanted it to happen so badly! There were so many elements that needed to fall into place for this shoot to happen. I have wanted it to happen for about six months now. Bryce looked at me like I was crazy today when I said we were going for it today... "maybe you should schedule a day and do it then" he said staring out the window at the rain coming down sideways. "You're really going to do this in the rain?" I wasn't sure it would actually happen, but I had make up on and my hair was done and all you mommy's out there know as well as I do, that if you've taken the time to do both of those things... and also put on a cute outfit... You're certainly not going to just sit around the house. "I'm trying anyways" I said.

Shannon said to me today, "there is patience in creativity". Patience up to a point. It was 11.11.11. It doesn't happen often, in fact, only once every one hundred years. Today was that day. The weather way grey. There was a scheduled shoot that needed to have the time changed, there was our window. Of course, Shannon was up to it and off we went, armed with canvases and driftwood easels and a laundry basket full of clothes and cameras. It was pouring. We sat in the truck for an hour. Both somewhat resigned to the idea that the shoot wasn't going to happen. I was discouraged, but it was ok.

She got out of the truck to take her dog out for a minute and the next thing I knew, my door was flung open and she was yelling at me "this is our window! Louise! Get out of the truck." She was pulling canvases out of the truck and within minutes we were on the beach in the first dry 10 minutes out of hours of rain. These images were created in 15 minutes, and then... it started to pour again, and us... as always dragging sandy canvases and gear off the beach laughing trying to keep everything dry. I will treasure them always, for the memories and for the painfully inspired manor in which it always comes together.

A few days ago I was feeling disheartened. Uninspired. Just a tiny bit.. blahhh about photography. I shot two amazing sessions yesterday and two again today. My advice to anyone who feels this way, is to keep working. Keep creating. Push through the uninspired and reach through and be inspired again. Don't sit around and wait for it. Just listen to your muse, and carry on. Keep shooting. Keep creating. Keep going. I choose painfully inspired any day. Thank you Thelma for always being ready for anything. Friends, I promise.... Anything is possible.

A toy story: Maisie and Ruby.

Dear Maisie, Every night when you are tucked into your crib we clean up your toys. All of the books go back into the teepee. The stray toys go into the cedar hope chest that my grandparents gave me when I graduated. I fold up your little blankie and put it on your little couch and then I put Ruby back onto your little chair beside Franks bed. She stays there every night until at some point the next day you decide its time for her to get out. Usually you grab her ever so delicately by the hair and toss her to the floor. "Tea Party" you say and throw a little plastic tea cup at her. You take a big swig of your imaginary tea and say "eeeeelisshious". I let you know that I think Ruby needs a refill and you pretend pour her some more. "mmmmmm".

During the day I'll find Ruby on Franks bed, face down on the floor or in some other random location. You also think it's funny to sit on her and yell "yeeeehawwww". Auntie Heather bought you Ruby before you were even born. I've never been more excited about a toy in my life. She is handmade and awesome and Auntie Heather told me that I have to let you PLAY with her. She said, she wanted you to be able to drag Ruby anywhere with you and get her dirty and well worn in. So, we play hide and seek with Ruby. The other day, it was in our front yard. I hide her, and we yell "RUBBBBY! RUBY!!!" Until we find her. Even when you find her, you still insist on yelling for her. Daddy said that the other day he took you outside (without Ruby) and you were yelling for her and looking for her anyways.

There are many moments in each day when I have no idea what I'm doing. I wonder if I am doing anything right with you, or if I am making endless mistakes. But, we are happy. We are free. We hide dolls in our yard and laugh when we find them. We might be doing a few things backwards or just flat out wrong, but it's the very best kind of days I can think of. I love you sweet girl. Every day is a journey, a road to discovering new things about each other, about life and about you. How can this possibly be wrong. I love our days together Maisie Lucinda. Love them. Every. Single. One. xoxoxo Love mom.