What a beautiful Saturday. What a wonderful couple. What a place we live.
Campbell River, in all of its glory.
An amazing couple together with their adorable children, celebrate. Relaxed and happily.
That folks, is how you do it!!!
One thing became crystal clear to me today in regards to the newborn/infant stages of our little girls life.
This will all be a beautiful memory one day. Just as my pregnancy is now. Just as the delivery is now. Just as her first week is now. Just as her first month is now. Life moves on, with or without you. You don’t stay in a moment. Good or bad. You move along. Looking back along the way, over your shoulder… watching your life as you choose to remember it. If you are able to hold onto that thought in any moment… it becomes sweeter. More poignant. More precious. Everything is more precious when you realize how impermanent it really is.
I jokingly wrote to a seasoned momma Crystal “I’m hoping this newborn-no sleep thing doesn’t last forever, and that the crazy tiredness will eventually be a memory!?!!! (if it is not so, please lie to me and tell me a full nights sleep is somewhere in my future!!!!!)”
She wrote something that touched me so sweetly, she said “Don’t sweat it, it will come, and then you too, will have the precious memories of the sun rising while your sweet bundle finally crashes, hands relaxed, breathing even and bottom lip moving rhythmically while she still nurses in her dreams. The times when you forget how tired or frustrated you are and revel in the magic.
Enjoy, Erin, and remember you aren’t necessarily missing out by not having that perfect sleeper of a baby.”
It got me. In 2 months, a year, ten years… I will remember this time in our lives, as Crystal does and miss it. Likely miss it more than I know how to control. When Maisie starts to walk, when she is dressing herself, or when she no longer wants to cuddle with me. I’ll remember when I used to rock her to sleep in the middle of the night with her swaddled up tightly in my arms, kissing her perfect little face over and over. We’ve all heard it a million times, especially with kids. “It goes so fast”. I know this. I am all “live in the moment” but, I wasn’t really. I mean, I was living in ‘moments’… mainly good ones, but not all of them. Today I tried to consciously live in all of them.
I’m grateful that I’ve had this awakening now… and not regretfully in five years, wondering where all the time has all gone. I’ll likely have moments, hours, days, where I forget… but hopefully I’ll be able to soak it all along the way (and thankfully I’ll have a little help from countless photographs as well).
Here are two of my favorites of our little girl over the past few weeks.
Some call motherhood a secret club, that you can’t explain… until you join. All I can say, is I get it. I know now.
April 5th 2010 at 7:15pm we welcomed Maisie Lucinda Cockburn into the world. She weighed 9 pounds 13 ounces. She was born on my mom’s birthday. She is named after the amazing matriarchs of both Bryce and my families. Maisie after my moms grandmother. Lucinda after Bryce’s moms grandmother. She looks like her daddy, and couldn’t possibly be any more loved.
She has her own story already, in her sweet 8 days of life. I’m a bit too fragile, to tell the story… so for now, I’ll let the images do the talking for me.
Words do nothing for this kind of love.
First moments in the world. Then first family photos. The first of many.
Immense gratitude to the ever fabulous Shannon (Auntie Thelma) for capturing images that I’d never imagined I could have of our family. oxoxxo
Absolutely no words can ever describe what it also means to me to have experienced all of this with such an amazing man. Bryce, you are my very favorite.
My parents first look at their grandbaby
Sheila. Our insanely wonderful midwife. Who led me through the birthing experience or labyrinth in such an epic way. I am beyond grateful for my beautiful birth and know that it wouldn’t have been nearly as amazing without Sheila.
Coming from a long line of blondies, Great Grannie Goodheart was thrilled and shocked to see all that dark hair!
And now… the family photo shoot in our studio. 6 days old.
Yesterday was a less than perfect pregnant day. Not a catastrophic day, just a less than perfect day. A day where I likely allowed all of the dark and twisty thoughts and fears creep in just a bit too much. Being a person who is always searching for the silver lining, it is difficult to allow yourself to feel anything but grateful. But… when these days happen (or hours or moments). There are ways to work through them, and to come out smiling.
What I learned yesterday was.
When you are having a bad moment or two, reaching out to friends is actually ok. I don’t like feeling like a burden, or like I’m passing on negative vibes to a cherished friend (or two). But, sometimes it boils up and spills over in unwanted ways, so sharing can be a good thing (so long as its not every single time you chat).
The moral of my little story this morning is, there are three things I now know for sure.
#1: When having a bad day, reaching out to friends can bring you surprises in your mailbox the next morning.
#2: Homemade treats from friends taste better than any other in the world.
#3: Have a coffee, eat a cookie and count your blessings.
I know that I’ve posted a whole lot about little Landon lately… see last two entries, but I just can’t help it!
Here is little Landon at two weeks old, with his mom and dad.
What a love. (Can’t possibly tell you how excited this makes me to meet our little girl! Not long now…)
This one cracks me up… somewhat like..”Yahoo, I made it to the world!” So cute!
