I have a great appreciation for the vulnerability that comes along with growing a human life. Right underneath your surface is a human being. A small little creation that without you, wouldn’t exist. Little fingers, toes, eyes, ears, mouth, brain, vital organs… all growing right underneath your skin. At times it feels so surreal that all that separates this little marvel from the outside world is skin, literally.

I have a greater sensitivity towards anyone who looks “different” or is pregnant. Some people are fabulous… they just walk by and maybe give you a little wink, or knowing look, like… “I’ve been there honey, this too shall pass.” Or even looks of admiration, “You go girl”. Those are great. What I am not a giant fan of, is the gawking that goes on… or the extra weird comments that people make. Or the words like ‘growth’ or ‘massive’ or ‘huge’. I’m not sure if pregnancy makes some people uncomfortable, but there are certainly a few folks that need to enroll in some serious sensitivity training. Or rather, just say nothing. That would be helpful.

The biggest lesson I have re-learned, and will likely do countless times over the course of my lifetime is on letting go. Recently I’ve felt like this pregnancy is shedding layers of myself that I never knew I’d have to. Grieving the loss of my own childhood, my innocence, my youth even. I thought that I understood all of this before. I didn’t. I still don’t entirely. I’ve had to let go of what my body felt and looked like before. Not to mention giving it up entirely to share with another soul. If you’ve never done this, it’s likely you’ll need to before you can truly comprehend it. In a sense, you just keep letting go of anything you thought you’d ever known before.

For a while, I became consumed with ‘what ifs’ and fears. About the pregnancy and having a healthy baby, and not having stretch marks and hemorrhoids and not gaining too much weight and self image, and how others see me etc. In the last few weeks, I’ve realized that the only way to move forward in this journey is to let that all go. Honestly, just let it go. I am unable to control any of it. What good is it to worry about something that is out of your hands. Giving up control, letting go of fears and doubts and worries. Letting go of due dates and name choices and leg cramps. Letting go of this all, has resulted in a sort of spring cleaning of the soul.

The great beauty in letting go, is that it allows space for something new to take its place. I have a feeling that space will soon be filled with something much bigger than anything that was there before.

What I learned yesterday was.

When you are having a bad moment or two, reaching out to friends is actually ok. I don’t like feeling like a burden, or like I’m passing on negative vibes to a cherished friend (or two). But, sometimes it boils up and spills over in unwanted ways, so sharing can be a good thing (so long as its not every single time you chat).

The moral of my little story this morning is, there are three things I now know for sure.

#1: When having a bad day, reaching out to friends can bring you surprises in your mailbox the next morning.
#2: Homemade treats from friends taste better than any other in the world.
#3: Have a coffee, eat a cookie and count your blessings.

Many have asked about the cute baby hats that have been featured lately… ETSY people. Etsy. Check it out!

On a personal note, you may have noticed my lack of blogging lately. Well, apparently creating a baby takes just as much of my creative energy as physical. So, I’m rolling with it for a while. But, believe me… when the I feel inspired to blog more, you’ll be the first to know! Have an amazing weekend!

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Dalai Lama

It’s been sunny around here these days, and to be honest… its been pretty good for the soul. Have an amazing weekend, wherever you are.

In the initial glance at an image, what do you see.
Perhaps there are fun props, quirky poses, something beautiful. Maybe you don’t know why you like the photo. You just do. I’m not really one for fuss. I don’t really like using a lot of props or things in photographs. I like spirit. I thrive on emotion. I love seeing behind the image, what is really in that photo. Because really, there isn’t much chance in any single moment of seeing nothing in life. If you are seeing nothing… it is my humble opinion that you are missing a whole lot.

There is substance in everything. There is a story everywhere, in everything. In every molecule, every moment, there was something before it. Or some path that lead it to right now. You have a story, and many of them. I may not know what it is when I first set out to photograph you, but I’ll see it somewhere along the process. Or I’d like to think that its possible to catch a glimpse of your story in your eyes, in your silence, in your movements on your own and then how you move with your man/lady/child/mother/sister. We are all full of tightly woven sinews, all connecting us together inside ourselves as well as those stories fusing every single one of us all in a closely knit and intricate labyrinth.

I am somehow connected to you. Right now, you reading my watery words… me typing them from my laptop, feet up, reclined… baby wiggling away inside my belly. Listening to nothing but the wind howl through our fireplace, I contemplate what’s behind an image. You, wherever you are, which ever screen you are perched at in whatever part of the world. Reading these words. Maybe there are ten of you. Maybe only one. But somehow, something has brought us together. Be it only in the vast world of cyberspace, for this moment. Our stories have met.

When I look back at a few of these photos from the past, I see what I saw in that moment. In whatever fleeting moment was occuring, I am right back there. What I find most interesting, is to wonder.. what you see? Is it different from what stories I see, or feel or wish to feel. Do you see behind the image? Or is it just a nice photo. Is there anything compelling about it to you? What is it? I’ll likely never know. But I will leave you with a few of the images that I truly love. Mainly because of what lies behind the photo. Maybe you see it too?