My babies. Elliot and Maisie. They're killing me with cute and sweet. I mean, how much can you possibly kiss two small people. I do it constantly. I can't help it. And, I smell them... their little heads, all day long. They smell like something divine to me, something so terribly familiar. They smell like perfection. Is that weird? I don't care. I just can't seem to soak them in as much as I feel like I should, or I want to. I'm a sucker for beautiful moments... and a childhood, if done properly, is full of them.
I love the way she pretends she's not listening and then she repeats something I've said a few minutes later. I love the way he can be crying hysterically... then you start baby talking to him or singing.... and he immediately stops crying and flashes the biggest, best grin. I love the way they are mine. Ours. I love that Maisie says we are "best friends together" and then she adds "and daddy and baby Elliot and Frankie too". I love her belly laugh. I love his chubby legs, and his perfect cheeks.
Her preschool tea party was today and besides crying the entire time, because of sweetness overload... I just couldn't stop thinking about memories and that every moment is a memory in the making. How do you soak it all in though? How is it possible? I have constant conversations with other moms about soaking in moments... and how we race around doing 'things' and suddenly think... "I'm missing moments" and then stop and soak in some sweetness. We do what we can. As present as we try to be it is difficult, or tricky to balance it all. Mainly because if we stop doing things... no one would eat anything but take out pizza, as there wouldn't be groceries... everyone would be covered in dirty clothes and not smell quite as sweet. You just do your best. You do your best to live as presently with these sweet, precious beings as possible and you try and feed them well, and teach them good values and lessons and inspire them to be amazing. You try and share a love of adventure, art and books. You try and show them that anything is possible. You just keep pushing yourself to be a better parent, and you try and figure it all out as you go. There are no rules on how to raise a small person really. But, we are all our own worst critics and I think thats a good thing to a certain extent... but, there comes a time when you just have to sit back, take a deep breath and watch these babies turn into people. Let go of their little hand so they can run to their classmates to sing their rainbow song. Watch as they can stand up on the stage bravely... looking out onto a sea of people and sing their little hearts out. They look out into the crowd... until they find your face.
I'm often reminded of a quote I heard at an amazing wedding, the brides father was talking about raising children so eloquently and said it was all about giving your children "roots and wings". It's a quote from Hodding Carter... "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings." If they have good roots.. they'll be sure to always come back. I know I did. ox