For the first few weeks, when I even thought about my pregnancy, labor, delivery and events that followed or how much I loved Maisie...I would burst into tears. The above photo was no exception. Being a mom means loving someone so much, it actually hurts.
When you become someone's mom, you instantly understand why she worried so much. Why she cared so much. Why she cried when you hurt yourself, or worse.. when you hurt someone else. Why she missed you when you flew away on airplanes to chase dreams on cruise ships. Why she was proud. Why she laughed at your lame jokes, why she bragged about your 'sports award' in grade 4, and why she was so upset when you died your hair, got tattoos, crashed cars, drank too much, acted wildly. You immediately understand why it hurt so much when you told her "I hate you, I wish you weren't my mom" when you were little (or not so little).
Everything makes sense. You wish you maybe had realized what being a mom to someone really meant a whole lot sooner, and maybe could have been a bit easier on your own mom along the way. You may have hugged her more and been more patient. You might think about the years of her life she gave up, so you could be a healthy, loving, kind human being. You may think about how her body would never be the same, all because she wanted to give you life. You may even think about her sleepless nights feeding you, loving you, singing and rocking you back to sleep. You might think about what she sacrificed, now that you've made some of the same sacrifices. You may understand that she really doesn't want anything in the world more, than for you to have the most magic life you could ever imagine. You may feel like mothers day is not just another day. It may be a reminder for you to take a moment and do some thinking, and remembering and honoring.
I'm not sure if its the same for everyone. But for me, this little being has rocked the very core of my being into remembering that I didn't just magically appear here on earth.
My mom brought me here. Aches, pains, labor, delivery, growth charts, doctors visits, sleepless nights. She made me. Raised me. Taught me to see beauty, everywhere. Infused my soul with a deep appreciation for life, for love and instilled the most important trait of all in me... compassion. I didn't just magically arrive here. In fact, I'm pretty sure without her... I would have never even existed. All of this means a whole lot more now that I look over and see my own little girl sleeping soundly, sweetly. In fact, everything means more now.
Mom, I love you. I understand what you went through to create me, I am forever grateful.