A piece of our story.
They say that when your newborn baby sleeps, her mommy should sleep too.
Is there anyone that can actually accomplish this? I certainly can not. Possibly because there are a million things to do, and a million thoughts to think, and the possibility of a shower, and lunch, and trying to keep up with my business, many baby photos opps and of course… a blog that needs some tlc also, keeps me wide awake.
2 weeks ago Maisie entered the world. We did it together. All 9 pounds 13 ounces of her. Along with a rather determined momma (me) a wonderfully protective and strong daddy (Bryce), a rockstar midwife (Sheila), and a supportive cheerleader at my left side (Nurse Chris)… not to mention the wonderful Nurse Jamie who came on after Chris. It was the most profound experience of my life.
10 months of growing, and obsessing and praying, and growing more, and hormones and emotional roller coasters, and fears and worries, and eating 8 oranges a day, or having 3 baths a day because that is the only place you feel good. Of already sleepless nights due to a bladder the size of a squished snow pea. 10 months of feeling like I may be pregnant for my entire life. Of travelling down a road that you thought might be rewarding, but you had no concrete evidence of the eventual pay off.
9am on my moms birthday April 5. I am exactly one week over due. I begin to have gas pains, that are 2 minutes apart and 30 seconds long. Weird.
10am… still there… text Bryce, you should come home from Courtenay. I’m calling Sheila.
11am… I’m in our midwife office. “We’re having this baby today” she tells me. I’m looking at her like she might be lying.
11:30-2pm I’m on a exercise ball in our living room. Breathing through contractions as they become more intense, and are lasting longer.
2pm We’re checking in at the hospital. Sheila meets us there.
2-5pm Mainly spent in the shower, on a ball, the occasional sip of gatorade, Bryce spraying my back with the hot shower. I’m not talking to anyone. Except strangely to crack the occasional joke. Someone is taking photos “This can’t be good” I think. With each contraction, I’m focused on an image of Bryce holding our little girl in his arms, the sound of her crying when she comes out, the look on Bryce’s face when he sees her, Sheila putting her on my belly, I’m focused on the finish line. I’m distracting myself from the pain. Occasionally I well up with tears during a contraction when I’m thinking about Bryce with our little girl. I’m determined.
5pm I’m out of the shower, I’m making my way to the bed. We’re supposed to be at my parents for dinner at 6:00. Something tells me we won’t make it. No one knows we are at the hospital. Suddenly things become way more intense. “I might be sick” I tell Sheila. “Good girl” she tells me. I’m in the transition phase. “Maybe I need an epidural” I tell Sheila. She looks at me carefully as though trying to delicately say, “girl we don’t have time for an epidural” Little did I know I was an hour and a half away from holding our little girl. They give me some gas instead. Nurse Chris tells me gas is a little like tequila. I am instantly on board. I don’t think its doing anything, yet I’m breathing through contractions now, and not pushing anymore. Sheila and Chris say I’m getting lazy, and take away the gas.
5:30 Sheila breaks my water, and simultaneously I’m pushing. “Will it be soon?” Sheila smiles.
5:30-7:15 The pushing.
7:15 All of my visions through out my labor come true. Sheila puts Maisie on my belly. Maisie cries, everyone cries. I can’t believe it is over. I can’t believe she is here. Later seeing her in Bryce’s arms. My whole world feels more alive and vibrant than I’ve ever known. I am more in the moment than I’ve ever been. I am in awe.
Fast forward 2 weeks.
Me, sitting on the couch beside Frank. Maisie sleeping soundly in her swing. Rain falling gently outside. My whole world so much different than before.
The nights are still sleepless, but different now. Now, I’m not just clumsily stumbling to the bathroom. I’m fumbling for the light, to feed this little life. I’m still eating millions of oranges and in the bath a lot, but now all under the watchful eye of Maisie Lu. I’m still questioning everything, I’m a first time mom. The questions are endless. But, It feels good. I am grateful. I feel blessed beyond words, even with my stretch marks. They are my badges of honor. My reminder that I’ve been a part of something miraculous. I feel more love, and more fear than I’ll ever know what to do with. But its good. We’re good. Sure, a little tired but full of love. Not to mention still swarmed with hormones on my part. Oops I’m crying, woah I’m irritated, yikes I’m happy…oh boy, more tears…. but its my journey. Our journey together as a family. And to me, its damn near perfection even with all of its wild imperfections.
Be gentle on me with the lack of blogging. I’m doing my best around here. Thanks for the love.
Miss Maisie 2 weeks old.
Tags: erin wallis baby
April 20th, 2010 at 10:22 pm
amazing story Erin, amazing little girl.
April 20th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Congrats again Erin! Maisie is absolutely beautiful. I loved your blog, brought tears to my eyes remembering what an amazing experience it was to bring a baby into the world. I wish you and your new family all the best on your new adventure. Thanks for the post, very special
April 20th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
oh erin, your words…..beautiful story telling and beautiful little girl.
April 20th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
You are a rockstar Erin! Motherhood brings a whole new meaning to life, doesn’t it. Thanks for sharing your story – it will only get better and better as the weeks roll on. xo
April 20th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Thanks for sharing Erin. Another beautifully descriptive story, with the best pics in the business!
April 20th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
You are such a beautiful writer Erin. As I read the post, I could picture it all. Your little Maisie is so beautiful, and what a lucky little girl to have you for a Mommy:) I look forward to watching her grow through your photos!
Thanks for sharing the story of her birth:)
April 20th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Such an amazing story! I always love hearing friends birthing stories. And it always floods my mind with my own memories. She is beautiful Erin! Thanks for sharing your wonderful experience. And don’t worry about the blog… we all know what you’re really doing.
April 21st, 2010 at 1:11 am
Thank you for sharing Erin! It quickly brought me back to birthing Reid not so long ago and I could never sleep when he was sleeping but somehow have managed to get through the last 6 months without dropping him…..yet!?!?!
April 21st, 2010 at 1:33 am
Thank you for sharing your story Erin, it brought tears to my eyes too. BEAUTIFUL! And be gentle on yourself, have your lunch:)
April 21st, 2010 at 2:25 am
What a lovely birth story….. something us ‘mamas’ all can appreciate. We also know too well how important it is to take care of YOURSELF. Now that we’ve all heard the much anticipated birth story, step away from the computer for awhile and look after you and your perfect little family. xox..
April 21st, 2010 at 2:48 am
Oh Erin I could read your writing all day long
What a lovely story !! Can’t wait to hear more 
xo
April 21st, 2010 at 6:45 am
Oh Erin, she is so gorgeous – you are one hell of a motivated rock star Mom moving a 10 lb baby out of your body
That is purely amazing in itself 
…you are a fabulous mother and I love reading your words – they are as fabulous as your photos!! xoxox Congrats and good luck.
April 21st, 2010 at 9:15 am
Erin, thank you so very much for sharing your story, BEAUTIFUL! Welcome to the most fantastic journey (and club) of your life… Your family is perfect
p.s. I had Chris as my nurse for Madelynn’s delivery and she was FANTASTIC!!!
April 21st, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Hey Erin.Beautiful story, actually got tears in my eyes whilst reading it. Bryce and Maisie is soooo blessed to have you in their lives!!Hope all is well over there, at least summer is on the way!!!enjoy and looking forward to more stories!!!!xoxox
April 25th, 2010 at 9:44 am
Erin – I appreciate: the way you write, the pictures you take, the way you express yourself, your thoughts. I think(from looking at your pictures): your wee lass is beautiful and perfect, you were gorgeous in your pregnancy, your delivery and six days after…you truly glow! I know: that this next chapter of your life will be a huge challenge full of ups and downs, that there will be someone there for you if you need them (you must but ask if they are not obvious) and that Maisie has a wonderful mother. I hope: you can continue to relish all those ups and learn from all the downs, and that those you consider your friends know how lucky they are!
CHEERS
April 26th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
love the composition and colors
April 29th, 2010 at 5:48 am
Wow! You are truly an amazing writer and photographer. I too have a passion for both. Reading your blogs brought tears to my eyes, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 14 weeks ago, also with a rockstar midwife! lol
You put everything from my pregnancy to my birth, to the love of my Aaron into the most perfect words! Thank you for sharing!
May 6th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Erin-Congratulations on your beautiful new baby, she’s gorgeous and so are you! That is also my niece’s name. I LOVE it! I just want to thank you for your amazing blog posts. You are a very talented writer and your posts often bring tears to my eyes. your photography isn’t bad either-jk. your entries brought me right back to the births of all 6 of my beautiful babies, although 2 were stillborn at 38 weeks, their births were all so magical. It’s just such a miracle when they are born healthy and to think that you grew this amazing little creature!
Enjoy every single moment with your beautiful baby, it goes so quickly. I don’t know you ,but i know you are going to be an amazing Mom, and Maisie is such a lucky little girl! (the hormones will get better, but i’m a total cryer now that i’ve had kids…i even cry at tv commercials sometimes)
Enjoy just sitting, snuggling and staring at your little sweetie!
jodi sware
May 7th, 2010 at 12:28 am
Absolutely amazing blog! I had tears streaming down my cheeks by the end!! Motherhood is a whole new world full of love, laughter, joy, pain and tears…welcome Erin and enjoy it all!! I do have to add Sheila is amazing I had her with me when my girls entered this world…love her!